To all of you who took the time to read my little VBAC birth story, thank you so much! I am sincerely humbled by the response one post received. I had no idea when I was penning my experiences this blog would go from 14 (or so) subscribers to 626–in under two hours! Mind blown, my friends. Mind blown. Since there are so many new people reading my ramblings, I want you to know I mean what I say and say what I mean. This can come across as offensive to some, I’m certain. Please know that’s never my intent and if I do offend or strike you as rude in any way, I would love for you to email me so we can make amends and perhaps I can find better words to express my thoughts. Also, since I am stepping out on faith and returning to a place of complete vulnerability and BOLDNESS, I will pretty much talk about or address any subject that may be of interest to you. So, feel free to send me a message and Iet’s keep the conversation going. For now, I’m simply going to share about those things going on in my tiny corner of the world.
If you read the title of this post you will find yourself excited, bored or curious. And, when you are done reading this post you will either applaud my witnessing efforts or shun me from your computer. I hope it’s not the latter. I’ve come to accept I (and you) can’t defend Scripture, however, without offending the majority. So be it. Life is short and regardless of your beliefs, mine are that I will give an account for the way I’ve lived at the end of my days–and I will only answer to the Most High God–not any man. If I keep that perspective and dwell on the Truth of Christ, everything is more palatable and I sleep better.
It’s possible you read other posts or the “About Me” page. If so, then you likely saw I received my Masters from Dallas Theological Seminary. That was in 2008. No, I’m not a preacher or counselor. I am a former Media Director and Radio Producer for Christian non-profits; primarily focused on apologetics and missions. I’m passionate about sharing the Gospel and defending it. I traded in my producer hat for staying home and raising my children. Boring? Hardly. Challenging? More than I can describe. I need to add, as well, Husband and I are it. We don’t have a large family support system we can call for a break. We are truly 24/7 parents with no real help. My mom wishes she could be more hands on, but she works full-time and is a newlywed. We are so grateful for those occasions when we can get out for just a couple of hours and hit the reset button. Life is not easy, but it is sweet and even though the rewards come by means of sweat and tears, they are all the more rewarding. We are truly on the front lines fighting for our family in a world that isn’t exactly supportive of traditional and/or Christian family units. That’s us…those crazy, right-wing, Bible toting, Constitution loving, Texans. Have I lost you yet?
Here’s the deal. Somewhere in the midst of becoming a stay at home mom, I began blending in with the masses, not recognizing myself and questioning my usefulness. I’m not a woman who ever looked higher on women in the workforce than stay at home moms. Far from it. For me, though, I immensely enjoyed speaking to high-profile politicians and evangelical pillars of faith. I missed it dearly and felt my brain cells dying more by the moment. Before seminary I was a full-time, working recording artist. I recorded music, sang for crowds and came alive on stage. I’ve always been incredibly awkward in small settings and trying to be “normal”…whatever normal is;). As much as I earnestly tried the last few years, I’m just not a scrapbook or Target kind of girl. I thrive(d) on addressing heavy topics on the radio and with people on the street. Being a mother is the highest calling and greatest gift I could receive. I knew that in my heart and I finally got my head aligned as well. There is nowhere I would rather be than raising my children. I would not trade these days of dirty faces, squeals of laughter and messy walls for a measly paycheck. Would I enjoy more stimulating conversations? Undeniably. But, God has made it abundantly clear that one of the biggest mission fields He will ever place me on happens to be right here in suburbia, or, as I like to call it “the trenches”.
My peers, many of whom are self-professing Christians, have taken great strides in watering down the Word. They may not even recognize they are doing so, and for that, I’m saddened. The majority of women I find myself walking through this season of life with are more comfortable walking in complacency with the world than standing firm in the faith and the inerrancy of the Bible. They would rather not offend their dear friends, and even strangers, than defend the risen Christ. Have I said too much? It’s a reflection of the church, in general. By and large we have issues from pulpits filled with unbiblical teaching, to feel good messages and Scripture verses chosen to fit a sermon, rather than a sermon fitting verses.
I recognize I’m hyper passionate. But, you have to understand I’ve seen a great deal and come from a background in the entertainment industry. I don’t need entertaining in church and I definitely shouldn’t need to defend the Word of God to so-called Christians. And yet, that’s exactly where I find myself these days. Oh yes, I’ve managed to find my footing again and started walking to the beat of my own drum. It’s a beautiful mess. Does that make it difficult to form friendships? Of course. Does it make those women who are solid believers and not gossipers all the more meaningful in my life? Of course. I am blessed…and I don’t use that word in the flippant or materialistic manner.
I have NO issue loving sinners. I love you! Loving me, however, is another issue entirely–one I’m constantly working on. Most importantly, I love JESUS. The Bible says All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Every last rotten one of us. I’m not a good person, but I serve an amazing God who loves, redeems, restores and by His grace enables me to walk in the Spirit and not the flesh. He alone is perfect and He alone went to the cross for your sins and mine. He doesn’t want you to come to Him perfect. He wants you to come as you are. But when you come, He says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. He says the old is gone and the new has come. He says this is the Truth and to walk in it. He says we are the Bride of Christ and to go and make disciples of all nations. He says believers are to defend the Word of God. He says the Bible and message of Christ is foolishness for those who are perishing.
Why do I share all of that? Because my issue lies not with unbelievers. They are authentic and honest about their beliefs. My issue is with those who claim the name of Christ and saying they “love the sinner and hate the sin”, but don’t share what Scripture and the Christ they claim teaches. If you truly believe something, you share it with everyone. If you are a Christian and have never seen the video by atheist Penn Jillette, on receiving a Bible from a fan, it’s worth 3 minutes and 34 seconds of your time. The last 35-40 seconds are particularly convicting. I encourage you to take a moment and be encouraged and strengthened to truly love by openly sharing and declaring Christ. Isn’t the greatest act of love letting people know about the greatest gift of Love God gave?
Well, it’s much too late and I’ve not even shared my intended story with you. I really do hope you will visit and read again. There will be more stories of my sweet babies and our silly days, but at this exact moment this post needed to be written so I can move on and not sit pondering alone. And hey, for what it’s worth, if you’re not a believer, or if you’re sold on religion but not Jesus, I don’t come from some “perfect” home…I’m as real as you and really “get” how hard life can be. I’ve been bruised, but I’m not broken and that is beautiful. Next up…Part 2 of this tale and having to witness in the church. Thank you, again, for allowing me a moment of your precious time.